Right, so here’s the deal. You’ll have noticed I’ve been playing truant from the blog for some time now. Part of the idea of packing in The Girls’ Guide over at Stuff was to alleviate the pressure a bit, because updating three times a week was getting a touch stressful and it was starting to interfere with my ability to feed and bathe myself properly.
When I told you all I would be continuing to blog over here at PBTM, I warned you that you probably wouldn’t hear from me quite as often (because I am the boss of me round these parts) but at least you’d know that any entry I posted would be there because I wanted to write, not because I had to. Still, neither you nor I expected me to fall off the wagon quite as specatcularly as I have lately…
So please now allow me to explain. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to write, it’s more that I really couldn’t bring myself to write. There’s been stuff going on that I haven’t felt comfortable blurting out to the world, and sure, I could have just avoided the topic altogether, but the idea of blabbering on about other stuff when this ONE thing was occupying so much of my brainspace just didn’t sit right. I felt like it would be lying to you a bit.
Oh my, this all sounds very dramatic and serious doesn’t it? Perhaps I should cut to a commercial break so you can go for a wee or grab yourself a cuppa.
Okay, cliffhanger over. The truth is… I’ve been sick. It’s been a kind of sickness like I’ve never known. My energy levels have dropped to an all-time low, I haven’t left the house except to go to work (and even then some days I haven’t even managed that), I’ve made several trips to the doctor’s, spent hours lying awake clutching my stomach and I’ve cried buckets of tears.
You guys. I am pregnant. This is big, right? Wooo! Yay! We’re having a baby! And HOLY SHIT morning sickness sucks big time. Huge time. I-never-thought-it-could-be-this-bad time.
Now as you can imagine, it’s been pretty hard not to share this news with you since we found out at the beginning of September that we were expecting a brand new little person. We were very excited, and then we got really scared by all the nasty statistics, and then I got really sick and that didn’t go away (and still hasn’t I might add), and all that time this teensy wee collection of cells has been at the top of my mind but I haven’t been able to say anything to you about it. Basically, this baby has been ruling my life already and it was just too weird to try and blog about other things.
Plus, the sickness. Oh my. I can’t even tell you what morning (haha, morning, yeah right) sickness does to your will to live, let alone your will to communicate with the outside world. The only reason I have the energy and presence of mind to tippity-tap out this entry right now is because we had the all-important twelve-week scan today and all is looking as it should, so I guess I’m on a bit of a high. Don’t worry, that pesky morning sickness will knock me off my perch again any minute now, I guarantee it.
I can’t promise you I won’t talk a lot about this whole pregnancy malarkey (still cracks me up a bit to be honest) and I’ll probably talk a lot about the actual baby when it comes along too. I don’t think I’ll be able to help it, because it’s kind of a big deal. I’m stoked I can finally share this news with you guys.
It better be cute.