The bad bits

Thank you all for saying such nice things about our news, you are all very sweet and I think the world of you.

Joel is taking everything in his stride, meanwhile I am having intermittent freak-outs about the whole thing, but that may just be because I’m growing a human being in my body. I have known for at least 26 years that this is the way life works, but now that it is happening to me I find it kinda crazy. There is a person living inside me. Cripes.

You see we had the scan on Friday, and there on the screen in front of us was the unmistakable image of a little human-shaped thing. Surprise! Up until then I had been thinking of the baby in terms of various sized seeds and small fruit (because that’s what the books and websites seem to like comparing the baby’s development to – seeds and fruit). Seeing that baby shape on the screen, albeit a somewhat grainy black and white version of our baby, has forced me to realise that I am not growing a lime inside me, but a human. Things are starting to hit home.

As well as having mini freak-outs here and there, I’m also feeling really down about this whole morning sickness carry-on. I think these last few days have been particularly hard as I’m now past twelve weeks, and I’d built up in my head that when I hit twelve weeks it would subside. Anyone who has suffered from morning sickness knows that as you move into your second trimester morning sickness is supposed to die down, making way for renewed energy and lust for life. Of course every pregnancy varies and morning sickness tapers off at different stages for different people, but I guess when you’re in the mire of feeling like absolute rubbish you need some hope to hold onto – so that’s what I did, held onto the twelve-week-hope.

I have stuff on this week. Big stuff for work – including the NZ Music Awards on Thursday night. I naively assumed I’d be fine by this stage of my pregnancy, that I’d be all glowy and healthy, but hey guess what! Still sick! No idea how I’m going to cope this week! Pants.

Sorry for being all complainy – I know I’m actually very lucky to have a healthy wee mite, but I hope you can appreciate that I’m just sharing my experience on this journey as it really is, and I’m not going to lie and say I feel wonderful because right now I feel revolting. Besides, I have been feeling crap for six weeks now and haven’t had a chance to moan about it on here until now, so I guess I’m just making up for lost time.

It’s a weird thing because of course I’ve known about the phenomenon that is morning sickness, but until you actually experience it – trust me, you have no idea. I am in awe of every woman who has ever had a baby. Here are some interesting things I’ve learnt about morning sickness over the last six weeks:

  • The fridge is a no-go zone. Everything edible pretty much smells like poop.
  • If I do not eat something just before going to sleep, I will wake up in the night wanting to rip my stomach out (not the baby, just the stomach)
  • If I do not eat something first thing in the morning before getting out of bed my stomach will host a revolt and protest my very existence.
  • There is no answer to Joel’s question “what do you feel like for dinner?”
  • I am constantly hungry but can barely stomach food. There is a fundamental flaw with this arrangement. Who invented morning sickness anyway?
  • Ginger is a great remedy for morning sickness for many people… but not me.
  • Anti-nausea acupressure bands, worn like skinny little sweat bands on the wrist,  do very little except scream to everyone at your workplace “I AM PREGNANT” before you had any intention of them knowing.
  • Fresh water tastes like stale water
  • It doesn’t matter what time of day or night it is, whether I’ve just eaten or just brushed my teeth, my mouth tastes completely disgusting
  • Speaking of brushing teeth – doing so too vigorously will secure your face an urgent appointment with toilet bowl
  • And toothpaste tastes pants.

Look, honestly I could go on. Things aren’t pretty around our place at the moment. There is a bed in the lounge so I can live out my pitiful existence in front of the telly, there is a collection of dust on every surface like you wouldn’t believe, a huge backlog of other household chores that Joel is doing his level best to keep on top of, and the dog is being neglected (as is any semblance of a beauty routine). General colour of my face and lips? Grey.

Dear God, please take away this morning sickness so I can start enjoying this ride. Thank you. Amen.

PS: Please don’t tell me stories of how your/your sister’s/Sara Tetro’s morning sickness lasted the whole nine months, because those are not the sorts of stories that are going to cheer me up right now.

34 thoughts on “The bad bits

  1. Holy crap!! I missed your last post so this just blew my mind!!

    CONGRATULATIONS JANE AND JOEL!!! That’s fantastic guys! I haven’t popped any bebe’s yet so can’t really relate re moring sickness… just know that your list has put me off pregnancy for another few years.

    You guys are going to be amazing parents! Just don’t forget about Stella…

    Much love to you both xox

    1. Surprise!! Don’t worry, I reckon the morning sickness is likely worth it in the end. I’ll keep you posted on that! I will never forget about my little Stella-dog, she is my bestie

  2. I won’t tell you how long my morning sickness lasted but I will tell you that it does get better and you will actually end up enjoying being pregnant for some part of it. I too wondered if it was all worth it in the early stages.

  3. Morning sickness was one in a very long list of reasons why I never felt the need to procreate. (Mostly though, having babies, and everything that comes with it, just felt like stuff other people do…).

    So, I can’t empathise with you, but I can sympathise. Feeling crappy sucks. At least you have a really good reason for it?

    I just have end-of-year, need-a-proper-holiday malaise, where I am finding it difficult to get enthused to do anything. That, and the bf has a nagging cough that’s been keeping me awake nights, which is not helping.

    Here’s hoping we both feel better really soon! 🙂

  4. Someone might have already said this in the last post.. and this is possibly not the best thing to say right now…. but didn’t you have a massive phobia about vomiting?

    1. Ha, yes I do. I’m on medication to stop me from vomitting – I have only thrown up once, but been on the edge rather a lot more often. It gets especially ropey when I brush my teeth in the morning. The one time I threw up it happened very quickly and without much warning so I didn’t get to distressed

  5. You’ve actually thrown up only once, you’re doing well, you’ll be over this icky bit in no time, honestly. It’ll wear off gradually tho over a couple of weeks, not overnight.

    Other things about morning sickness:
    *Believing that it’s psychosomatic before you get pregnant has no relevance to how crap you actually feel.
    *Everything smells and tastes like poo, even water.
    *It DOES go away, promise 😀

  6. I don’t know anything about morning sickness, but I do know lots about television shows when you’re feeling like poos so if you need any suggestions, make sure you holla out!

    I hope you’ve been having words with the little mite, telling it that you’re just about done with feeling crappy. I’m sure it will listen – you are its mother after all!

  7. I can’t say I know anything about morning sickness, or indeed human-growing at all (though I hear my mum never had any sickness, so fingers crossed it’s hereditary), but if it’s anything like a hangover or the tail end of a migraine, salty crackers and Coke work a treat for me.

    What purpose does morning sickness serve, anyway? It seems totally arse-about-face to be expending all this energy and not actually being able to keep anything down to replace said energy. WTF?

  8. Congrats Jane – fantastic news! I’m 15 weeks along so just slightly ahead of you. I too was consumed with the hideous energy-zapping nausea and tiredness until about 13 weeks (not quite as bad as yours, but nasty all the same), and then it just disappeared and I feel pretty much normal now – I’m sure you’ll be at this point in no time. This is number 2 for me, and last time I actually really enjoyed 2nd and 3rd trimesters – I felt great, and there really is something pretty amazing about growing a special wee person, feeling them kick around etc. And I’m sure he/she will be super cute and definitely worth the pain! Looking forward to following your pregnancy via the blog. Will you do bump pics for us?! Good luck for making it through your busy week.

  9. Uggh sounds so rough you poor thing. None of those remedies worked for me either – I could have saved my self a few $ not buying said bands, ginger tea, sniff box thing, homeopathic spray…(so desperate by that stage)! But it totally gets better – and quite suddenly too. Hang in there, mine was about week 14 I think?

    Oh and on the freaky thing – wait till the movements start! I was waiting for them to be all glorious and wonderful and then they felt like muscle twitches. Muscle twitches that would not stop! But then you worry when they don’t feel them for a bit. Such a mind trip being pregnant!

  10. You know when you have a bug and really don’t want to be sick and then you do, you feel lots better – is it like that with morning sickness? Can’t tell you from my experience as I wasn’t a chucker – just felt gross for the first 14 weeks of all 3 pregnancies. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. (and an adorable baby too!)

    1. I’ve only thrown up once (after brushing teeth) and it came on so quickly I didn’t even have a chance to think about it. The rest of the time I’ve just felt gross 100% of the time. In fact if anything, it’s not as bad first thing in the morning but by late morning it kicks in and then by the afternoon I’m almost beside myself with the nausea. I am on medication for nausea/vomitting but it doesn’t seem to be doing much (unless it is keeping the vomitting at bay – not prepared to stop taking it to find out)

  11. Thankgoodness you don’t work in the food industry! Imagine preparing meals… cancel that, imagining is almost as bad as smelling.

    1. When my midwife was talking me through what I could and couldn’t eat I felt so woozy! I can’t imagine having a job involving food, or nursing, or anything other than what I do – which is office based.

  12. While I can’t relate to morning sickness, not having had children, I have a sensitive digestive system so I often get a nauseous stomach. I find that sucking on ‘curiously strong peppermints’ works quite well…could be worth a shot! Hope it dies down soon!

  13. Oh, I remember the mini freaks outs, the being down because the whole nausea and lack of energy ‘thing’, sometimes feeling like this pregnancy lark was not really that most wonderful thing everyone said it would be, and then feeling guilty as hell because you know some people don’t even get to be pregnant!!

    Hang in there Jane!!!

    ((hugs)), but not too tight because I remember how sore ‘bits’ got too 😀

  14. Sorry to hear you are having a rough time. i hope it goes away soon. Mine did at exactly 3 months, a bit text book so my fingers are crossed for you.

    The weirdest thing I found was throwing up and feeling hungry at the same time. Usually when im sick the last thing i want is food, not so when pregnant.

    It will pass and funnily enough eventually you will forget all about it and even be silly enough to consider having another baby. “Yeah right” you tell me but its a true story.

    I am soooo happy for you both, how exciting!

  15. You are allowed to complain because you are pregnant.

    Does the morning sickness feel like a hangover?
    My wife tried buderim ginger and lime refresher from countdown to counter the morning sickness. It was partly due to the ginger but also helped with fixing dehydration. Overnight your body tries to increase the number of blood vessels around the placenta (and all over your body) so your blood volume needs to increase as well. This leads to dehydration because you body is also trying to process the waste generated by the baby which has to pass through your kidenys and liver. All the after effects of a night out without the alcohol! On the plus side the baby pushing into your bladder means you get to empty those toxins out every few hours during the night!

    I would like to lie and say it gets better. For most people it does and I hope this is also the case for you. There is always another challenge or hurdle or panicked rush to the doctors but that all fades away when I hear my little man making tractor noises in his sleep =)

    1. I have rarely ever been hungover, and I’m not sure my morning sickness is the same sort of feeling. I have tried lots of things that minimise the morning sickness, but nothing seems to take it away completely.

      Liquid makes my tummy feel all swimmy, so I’m working on downing a lot of iceblocks and juicy fruits to make up the balance.

      I am a bit bored of it all now though, would like to get back to having the eating habits of a semi-normal person!

      1. However you get fluids and food in is up to you. Better than having a saline bag feeding into your arm!

        I’m told you don’t get back to “normal” until your last kid can feed themselves. I can’t remember the last hot meal I sat down to with my wife. There have been meals where this has happened, I’m certain, but I don’t remember them =)

  16. Oh poor you! I kind of understand- I used to get nausea so bad (even the strongest tablets wouldn’t work) and in the end the only think that would work was forcing myself to eat. I would sit there crying over some plain yoghurt, eating it one spoonful a minute, but eventually I could eat more and more which helped the nausea.
    Not sure how it works for pregnancy, but if you have to eat you should try easy foods – yoghurt, ice cream, bananas, smoothies etc. good luck!

  17. Hang in there, Jane! It WILL get better, I promise! The nausea will go away over the next few weeks, and then the ‘2nd-trimester-renewed-energy-and-pregnancy-glow’ will kick. Soon the baby will start kicking as well, it’s the most awesome feeling 😀

  18. I’m a little late to this blog post party, but congratulations Jane. I have an 8 week old son and the whole pregnancy was bittersweet for my wife also. As a male, I can’t begin to comprehend how rough it was for her, and you.

    But let me just say this, I was able to come home today and play the Manic Street Preachers ‘Live from Blackwood’ gig to my baby while singing the lyrics to him. Can’t really explain how happy that made me seeing him light up when I sung to him. If that doesn’t make it all worthwhile, I don’t know what will?

    1. That definitely makes it worthwhile! A little manics baby, sounds adorable.

      Bittersweet is definitely a good way to describe pregnancy so far, I’m hoping that the sweet starts overriding the bitter before long!

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